Issue Thirteen
Cliff Johnson’s Treasures from the InterWeb
April 2017
 

>Take One<

Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity in 1687. Before that, people could fly.

>Take Two<

A jumper cable slinks into a bar.

The bartender eyes him warily and says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t you start anything.”

>Take Three<

Great minds discuss ideas.

Average minds discuss events.

Small minds discuss people.

>Take Four<

A few of the things Bart Simpson is writing on the blackboard at the beginning of each episode.

I will not waste chalk.

I will not instigate revolution.

I will not belch the National Anthem.

The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals.

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan.

>Take Five<

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so,” observes Douglas Adams.

>Take Six<

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married.

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

>Take Seven<

Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.

>Cut<

>Print<

Texan rattler nursing her young.


At least, she died peacefully in her sleep.


The Frisuelos family.


Logan’s Fun.


Leopard bread baked daily from fresh leopard.


You guessed it. That’s how Easter eggs are made.


This one will grab your butterfly net and chase after you.


Canadian tanning salon.


“... and a Diet Pepsi please.”


Happy Easter.

Costco in China.


Celebrate Easter with the Corleones.


When you take a shower on an empty stomach.


British officials adjust Stonehenge for Daylight Savings Time.


The inevitable corporate merger.


Sunday school zealot.


Satan’s Soufflé.


Wait for it.


The gecko’s patience is wearing thin.


Well, hello there.

Outbreak of hostilities.

Which pooch loves the ocean most?

She’s a contender.

Posers.

Auf Deutsch.

Skinny Nip.

Hummingbird Heaven.

Dining al fresco.

Turkey Vigil.

Bath Oil.

Truck Amuck.

“Tu vu f l’americano” performed by Renato Carosone and his band.
Old Spice commercial. Only one visual effect. Everything else is done in real-time.
Sherlock Holmes end titles. Music by Hans Zimmer.

If you want to play my classic games again (or for the first time), there are brand new color emulations in Downloads. They’re amazingly easy to install and work great on all desktops and laptops.

If you enjoyed The Fool’s Errand, I know you’ll enjoy The Fool and his Money. It contains over five times more puzzles, has lots of twists and turns, and rewards you with a grand finale.

I created a new treasure hunt, The Astana Challenge, and the book comes out this month.

CRAFTPUPPET: I restructured my novel, and there’s an all-new Chapter One, Spirit Moon.

And I note that only 10% of you look at the Bonus attached to each newsletter. Every Bonus is a curiosity of images that belong together in some way, shape, or form. I urge you to take a peek.

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