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Issue Sixteen March 2006 |
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©2006 by Cliff Johnson All Rights Reserved |
| A man with a clock knows what time it is. |
the officious newsletter of author Cliff Johnson |
A man with two clocks is never sure. |
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>Take
One< We begin today’s broadcast with three oxymorons... exact estimate... tight slacks... Microsoft Works. >Take Two< In the National Baseball Hall of Fame, star player Yogi Berra was overheard saying: “90% of the game is half mental.” “If I didn’t wake up, I’d still be sleeping.” “If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.” “If you ask me a question I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.” “You should always go to other people’s funerals. Otherwise they won’t come to yours.” >Take Three< Purple prose: “Frank was toast, and not the light buttery kind, nay, he was the kind that’s been charred and blackened in the bottom of the toaster and had to be thrown away because no matter how much of the burnt part you scraped off with a knife, there’s always more blackened toast beneath, the kind that not even starving birds in winter will eat, that kind of toast... ” >Take Four< A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One shouts to the other, “Dam!” An invisible man married an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at. While eating a circus clown, one cannibal says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?” Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much to speak of, but I hear the reception was excellent. >Take Five< Bumper Stickers: Don’t believe everything you think. Excess is never too much in moderation. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking. I didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian! >Take Six< If receiving this newsletter is as welcome as the prospect of having to read another opinion article about Crash versus Brokeback Mountain or South Park versus Scientology, click here to cancel. On the other hand, if Lindsay Doyle, (a drying agent of paints and varnishes), forwarded this newsletter to you and you wish to subscribe, click here. >Take Seven< A Chinese proverb explains, “Exaggeration is to paint a snake and add legs.” Or, to send out a newsletter on March 30 and calling it the March newsletter. This just in. The ever-elusive The Fool and his Money will run on the Intel Mac. No exaggeration. A True Believer from Apple Developer Technical Support tells me that “The Tiger version [of Director] runs just fine in Rosetta (the PowerPC emulator) on the Intel machines,” and seeing that the sequel is programmed in the Tiger Version of Macromedia Director/Flash, all is right as rain. Windows users, however, can ignore the previous paragraph. >Cut< >Print< |
For example, what to do with these six 8-letter groupings? Are they jumbled? Are they ciphered? Is there a corresponding key on the Moon’s Map? Or, is each grouping a key to other ciphers in the game? Or, do you sell the letters, in whole or in part, to the highest bidders in the town square of the Pentacles?
As The Fool and his Money draws to a close, you will need to amass a great deal of money to meet the right people to acquire the correct information to learn the whereabouts of the fourteen stolen treasures.
Will you be too timid and spend your life in debtor’s prison? Or, will you be too greedy and suffer the wrath of Justice and Judgement?
And, if you do succeed in locating and ransoming the fourteen treasures, will the Fool be left penniless as he was when he began his errand so long ago?
Or, will he finally find happiness and live in The Fool’s Paradise?
Pre-order today and your name is immortalized in the Compendium of True Believers inside the game.
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Henry Thoreau
observes, “Our life is frittered
away by detail... simplify, simplify,
simplify.” Did he realize the irony of concluding with three words instead of one? As I poke and polish, debug and debunk, fiddle and faddle, hatching this ostrich egg that is the Fool’s sequel, I confess that my life is still being frittered away by detail. There are dots left unconnected. Some yins still need a yang. There are portions of the game yet to be beta-tested! |
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Though
it may cook my goose, I must conclude
that this goose is not yet cooked. I need to push the deadline back. I know. I know. I know. (see Irony.) I promise to continue to do my very best for your own good. The game shall ship, or else I eat a bug. I remain the Fool you gladly suffer. Crazy Jaybird |
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