Issue
 Twenty-
 Three
 
 May
 2010
©2010 
by 
Cliff 
Johnson 
All 
Rights 
Reserved 
Rock is dead. the officious newsletter of author Cliff Johnson Long live Paper and Scissors.

     >Take One<
     A yawn is an honest opinion openly expressed.
     Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
     Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren’t asleep.
     >Take Two<
     “I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering,” deadpans Steven Wright.
     “Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?” ponders John Mendoza.
     >Take Three<
     Pun for your Life ...
          Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
          When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
          Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
          Poker players in the jungle, beware. There might be a cheetah.
     >Take Four<
     Bumper Stickers ...
          I fish, therefore I lie.
          A day without sunshine is like night.
          I’m an English major. You do the math.
          I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re okay now.
          Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the bell and run.
     >Take Five<
     Headlines ...
          War Dims Hope for Peace.
          Cow Injures Farmer With Axe.
          Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
          Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant.
          Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
     >Take Six<
     If you wish to subscribe to this newsletter, click here. On the other hand, if receiving this newsletter is as welcome as reading Roger Ebert’s Video games can never be Art blog, click here to cancel.
     >Take Seven<
     Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley. One was assaulted.
     Two fish are in a tank. One says the other, “How do you drive this thing?”
     Two hot dogs and a hamburger walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
     >Cut<
     >Print<

     Making his way across a cow pasture, the Fool encounters an Innominate, a person having no name. Above, nine falling leaves sprout sentence fragments. What appears to be a familiar enchantment reveals itself to be a devilish bewitchment with unpredictable twists and turns.
     You can download the Official Teaser of The Fool and his Money containing The Prologue and Five Bewitchments, available for both Windows and Macintosh. And there’s still time to pre-order to have your name immortalized in the Compendium of True Believers inside the game.
     And here are some recent comments from those True Believers:
     “I’d appreciate an update on the May release, even if it’s just a few jokes and another delay. [I’d love a copy of The Fool for Christmas, if you know what I mean! ;-)],” writes Dan.
     “I really look forward to the game. I couldn’t stop playing the first one. I didn’t sleep at all the Friday night after I downloaded it from your website, because I couldn’t stop playing till I finished it. Also, any plans to allow us to buy a tarot deck with the art that you’re using for the new game?” asks Paul.
     (The Tarot deck for The Fool and his Money has a history. Back in 1990, Brad Parker drew a series of background plates for a proposed color version of The Fool’s Errand. Then, 3-D graphics became all the rage and the plans to do a color version were abandoned. So in 2010, I was able to use these bitmap images to create the Tarot deck images for the sequel. However, the bitmap resolution is insufficient for the purposes of printing out a real Tarot deck.)
     “I only started the Teaser early this morning, but I hate you already! :-D  Pirates?!?  Really? Attacking the puzzle?  What, with peg-legs, hook hands, eye-patches, parrots and all (at least they kinda look that way)?!?  I’m not sure I have the patience that I did 21 years ago!” exclaims Neerav.
     (Ain’t I a stinker?)     (However, if you are clever, you can avoid the Pirates altogether.)
     “I have just pre-ordered your future masterpiece The Fool and his Money. I am a huge fan of your work, and have been ever since my father bought me The Fool’s Errand on my Mac Plus when I was 5 years old (It is only a little bit more manageable now that I am an adult). Thank you for working so hard on this project, and I can’t wait to play!” writes Eric.
     “We’ve waited this long for your next oeuvre so a few months more or less won’t be that big a deal. Playing The Fool’s Errand on my Mac Plus back in the mid-80’s still ranks as the most enjoyable computer game I’ve ever played. It took me months to complete all the puzzles. And how you did it all in less than 1 MB still baffles me. I really enjoyed the other games as well. Keep up the good work,” writes Alvin.
     “You know, it’s awfully telling that in the time you’ve taken to make the new game, I’ve managed to move house five times, had three girlfriends, changed jobs four times, got engaged and even had a son. He’s two now. Two! Good thing I’ve still got faith in you - clearly, those childhood memories of playing Fool’s Errand on my friend’s old 486 and breaking his code wheel keep me going. :oD” writes Martin.
     And from Ken:
          An old user stepped up to say,
          “We’re just checking in here, OK?
          We don’t mean to pressure,
          But we’d like to measure
          The chance of releasing in May?”
     That dull thumping you hear is me banging my head against the wall.
     (I’m led to believe that it’ll feel so good when I stop.)
     Somehow, it is May Day, the first of that month.
     And I suppose I ought to have written a newsletter sooner than this, but I did not.
     Scrutinizing my all-inclusive yet too-long list of things to do and list of things to fix, I can report that I am having difficulties with one of the Auctions, three of the Tarot games, and The Finale as well as a host of tiny, though time-consuming annoyances.
     I have to conclude that an October shipping date is more realistic.
     Perhaps a sane person might have abandoned this project years ago, but not me.
     To all of you who have expressed such good will and genuine enthusiasm for this once and future sequel, I promise you that I will see this project to its glorious end.
     Crazy-as-a-Loon Jack-of-all-Trades
2003 — JAN - FEB - MAR - APR - MAY - JUN - JUL - AUG - DEC — 2004 — MAR - AUG - NOV — 2005 — APR - NOV - DEC
2006 — MAR - JUN - OCT — 2007 — DEC — 2008 — APR — 2009 — FEBNOV — 2010 — MAY